Today is Meredith’s birthday – this morning as I was wishing her a Happy Birthday, I asked her if she feels any different. She said, “No, not yet, but typically I don’t notice the changes until the next day, so I suspect that tomorrow I may feel a little older, perhaps a little taller….a bit more competent”
Who is this child? What seven, er eight year old talks like that???
A couple of weeks ago the history co-op we belong to had the kids make battle axes and costumes to reenact a battle from the early middle ages.
Well earlier today I found Allison’s battle ax in the trash – when I asked her about it, she put her hand on her hip, jutted out her chin, rolled her eyes just the tiniest bit and said, “Mom, I’m not a warrior!”
PS – and yes Hostess Streusel cakes are authentic to the middle ages! Look it up!
This post is for my own benefit….things I don’t want to forget when the girls are grown and gone. (sniff sniff)
- today at the store, Meredith – the SEVEN year old, said (and this is a direct quote) “Frequently by the time I reach my destination, I have forgotten what I originally wanted” – and yes, she used all of those words. Doesn’t she sound about 30 years old in that quote? 
All of my facebook friends already know about this, but last week the girls were looking for halloween costumes online. They were sitting at the computer next to mine, when I start hearing comments like, “Lets look at the whore costumes.” “oh yes, click on the whore costumes! Lets see what they have!” So, hearing this piqued my curiosity…I glance over and was relieved to see that they were looking at “horror costumes” – Thank goodness none of the kids want to be whores this year! And as I mentioned to cousin Josh on Facebook, I guess since they aren’t in school, someone other than their classmates are going to have to teach them to dress like whores….luckily not this year
And then…..
I bought some fruit snacks at Costco last week. Now whenever the girls get a packet of fruit snacks that’s when serious business takes place. They immediately start trading. Some flavors are worth more – so like one strawberry might be worth two orange, etc. The other day I overhear Meredith and Lydia negotiating and it went something like this:
M – are you sure you don’t want to trade me for this?
L – I’m sure
M- but its lemon..your favorite!
L- I know.
M – Its made in America and shipped over special on a train!
L – no thanks.
M – but its good for you! Full of vitamins.
L – no
M- its magic!
L – no
M- it will help you to loose weight – you’ll lose 10lbs if you eat just one!
L – no thanks.
This went on for a bit. It was HILARIOUS.
And another Meredith one. The other day I was coming downstairs when I hear Meredith saying, “Can you move over so I can see if I can jump on the couch from here?” – without even knowing what was going on, I quickly said, “Don’t jump on the couch from there!” When I get all the way downstairs, I find Meredith had climbed up on the TALL ledge that separates the kitchen from the living room – she could touch the ceiling from there – and was planning on leaping through the air in hopes of a soft cushy landing on the couch.
And lastly – just after I originally published this I got an instant message from Allison – who is upstairs on the laptop. I had to edit this post to include that chat – The chat transcript reads (EXACTLY):
Allison – can we watch a movie, please?
Allison – *bats eye lashes*
??????????????? Not so sure that cyber-eyelash batting is all that effective in getting what you want from your mom….
I wonder what the five households surrounding our backyard thought when they heard that yelled repeatedly from my backyard yesterday. Yelled by a child. “CLEAN UP THE DAMN TOYS – I SAID CLEAN UP THE DAMN TOYS!!!!”
Only, the child in question (Allison) was referring to all the pool toys they used to try to build a dam across the pool. You know noodles, kickboards, etc. Just building a dam. When they were done, what where they left with? A damn mess. Or a dam mess. Full of damn toys. Or rather dam toys.
I wonder if our name is ever mentioned at the HOA meetings?
Written by Meredith
Produced by Meredith
voices/puppetry by Meredith
camera by Meredith
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| From Meredith's stuff |
So um, Footloose? Not the sweet innocent dance movie I remember – there’s fighting, smoking (of various substances), teen drinking, mention of FORNICATION, and cursing. Lots of cursing. So my advice for reminiscing about your youth with your children…perhaps preview the movie first.
And finally, two quotes from my children during the movie. The first I will title something along the lines of “You know they are homeschooled when…..”
– during the locker room scene, when all the boys are showering and talking (and showing tushies), I realized that Allison had no knowledge of school locker rooms when she said, “What the heck kind of room is that??? The NAKED MAN room???”
And the second quote of the day, we’ll call “ahh, to be seven years old” -
The music changes, the male and female lead get this look in their eyes..and they go in for it. At this point, the seven year old declares, “I hate when sometimes they kiss how it looks like they are EATING each other’s faces off!”
And bonus quote, from the five year old voice – “I hate when they get all schmooshy wooshy” – the seven year old expanded on that to explain that she means when they are about kiss and they get all close together first.
I’m gonna guess that Dirty Dancing will have to wait a few years…..
When I realized what was going on, I immediately put a stop to it. Right after I got my camera. I mean, you just can’t have a dog sitting at the table during lunch! What kind of mother would I be if I allowed that to continue? So I had to nip that in the bud IMMEDIATELY…after I got my camera.
ps, I don’t know why the dog is sticking his tongue out at me. I see it as a blatant act of defiance – “THEY said I could sit here, so take THAT! pffflt”
well today was the day – the kids jumped in the pool for the first time today. It was still a bit chilly, and the chemicals aren’t quite stable, but we let them test it out for a bit before adding in a bunch more chemicals. Looks like its gonna be a nice summer 
it was sweet and pleasant, until the cake caught on fire halfway through Happy Birthday. No one noticed anything except me. Until, that is, I screamed and quickly blew out the fire, along with all but two of the birthday candles. The singing immediately stopped while everyone gaped at one another in shock, not knowing why exactly I freaked out and blew out the candles on my daughter’s birthday cake halfway through the happy birthday song. Luckily, Allison, the wise birthday girl that she is, gathered up her wits, and made one last attempt at getting that birthday wish granted by blowing out the remaining two candles. I, amist my giggles, ordered everyone to finish up the Happy Birthday song. Which they then did without question or comment (probably out of fear for what I might do next). Order was restored. Everyone pretended nothing had happened as they consumed copious amounts of one of the yummiest birthday cakes ever made (and torched)
