I realized when I didn’t work all weekend long that I am burning myself out. I am cheating our family of family time and something has to change. I spend all day with the kids, doing our home learnin’, trying to keep on top of the house (HA), and going to our lessons, field trips, homeschool meetings and such..In between I do errands and other chores. I wake up and immediately start go go go go go…the kids go to bed around 8, and we read stories for a while. Around 9 or so, I come downstairs and I usually get to work. I am so ready for me time at this point though, that I find it hard to focus on work, so productivity stinks when I work at night. I find myself reading email, checking on blogs, etc. Not working. Or not working productively. Then on the weekends, when Eric is home, I work all day Sat and all day Sun, and work into the night as well, to make up for the work I should have done during the week. Well I took this past weekend off, I was able to do some chores including some yard work, Eric got a LOT done with his time, the kids had more fun because they were out playing with me while I worked in the yard, etc. And I felt more relaxed. After they went to bed, I watched a movie one night! I haven’t done that in a LONG time. I read some stuff….and it was nice. I can’t keep doing things the way I have been doing them. Something has to give. If I don’t find time for ME in this equation, I am going to explode. If I don’t find time for the family in this equation, I am also going to explode. I want to give them a childhood with fond memories, and I am doing that, but without Eric. Because when he is home, I have to work. I want to reserve our weekends for household chores and family time. And I want to reserve my evenings for me time. How do I do that and still bring in my income??
I don’t think I can, can I? But I must make some adjustments until I can do just that. Right now I am thinking that if I could find a way to free up the weekends, that would be a plus. Maybe hire a parttime nanny for 5 hours 2 days a week…that’s a thought. Or figure out how to work more during the day WITH the kids, but that isn’t that effective. I dunno. Any thoughts? I have grand financial plans that once fully in place, I should be able to reduce my work, but until then (probably a year or two), I really need to generate the same income (more I guess if I am to hire a nanny, sigh) It would be SO nice if I could find another work-at-home mom to swap daycare with. That would be cool. But I want my kids here at home if anyone else is watching them. I don’t want to take them somewhere and drop them off. I want to be available if they need me (and with that toddler of mine, that could be often). I had a mother’s helper back in CO..but they were young teens, and I would use them for about 4 hours a week. I think I need a bit more than that..that still didn’t free up my weekends. I work about 15-20 hours during the weekend, and probably 10-20 hours during the week.
Sigh.. must think on this more…as for now? The kids are being neglected…back to it!