Growing WarriorsJust your typical family…

Remember the tooth tale from yesteryear? Well its been what? A month or so since that tooth came out, and I keep waiting to hear about another loose tooth, becuase seems like once one pops out, they start popping out in clusters…but nope, no loose teeth have emerged. Tonight I was looking at that new tooth, wondering if it is shifting into position (still way back there since it came in behind the baby tooth), and what do I see next to it? Another grown-up tooth growing in. Right behind the baby tooth it is supposed to push out. The baby tooth isn’t even loose! Not even a smidge (otherwise I am sure that Eric would RIP it out for her, traumatizing the children even further regarding allowing daddy to wiggle their teeth).

So now that Eric’s new job has verified that we are indeed his family, and we once again have insurance, I guess come Monday morning, we need to find a dentist. That kid is going to need some major orthodontic work if this doesn’t stop soon!

So Allison had her first softball game tonight. I think only one other girl on the team has ever played before.

It was an adventure. We get a late start out of the house, I was wanting to get to the game early so we could get situated and maybe throw a ball around. The ball park isn’t very close, so I planned to leave 45 mins before the game (20 mins travel time). We actually left 35 mins early (shoe issues with Lydia…that’s another post), but should still get there early. Ugh, I get in the car and it is on empty , but since I feel like we are already late, I decide to push it, thinking I could get gas out there after the game, and the line was a smidge above E, so I should be ok, right? But as soon as I exit off of 435, I quickly realize that the ballparks are out in the middle of NOWHERE..so panic starts to sink in that I won’t find a gas station in time, but I can’t think of that now…gotta get to the game and hope for the best when we leave.

So, we get out of the car, my little girls and I (Eric is out of town), walking through crowds of men and women sitting in the parking lot in uniforms and drinking beer (beer is not allowed in the field), and we go through the gate. Luckily someone sees my confusion. Where are the little kids running around? Where are the other mommies and daddies? And where can I get a beer? Apparently this sports complex has TWO areas of ball parks and we were at the wrong one. We were at the one were drunk adults play softball rather than cute kids. We have to get back in the car, buckle everyone into car seats, and drive a car with no gas just a bit further .

We find the correct ballpark, and by now we are ALMOST late, we rush to the gate, and notice a ticket booth. What? We have to PAY to get into the ballpark?? We pay to let her play, and now we have to pay each time we want to watch her play? And NO ONE told me this so I could stop at an ATM??? I am out there practially in tears, telling the teenage ticket taker, “What are we supposed to do? She is playing! She has a game starting NOW…..AND no one told me!” She replied, in a snotty voice, “I guess you will have to leave then, huh?” I briefly thought about scooping the kids up and entering the park anyway, what could she do? But as quickly as that flashed through my mind, I remembered how I have to explain to the girls that sometimes the store lets you TEST their lotions…and it isn’t stealing if the lotion bottle says, “TESTER” and as quickly as that flashed in my head, my imagination flew to trying to explain my behavior to the girls. So I stood there, dumbfounded, as tears welled up in my eyes, because I didn’t even know where I was, much less where to find an ATM, and my car had no gas to go driving around looking for one anyway, and I knew that by the time we found one and came back the game would be over, so what was the point? As I stood there a woman behind us took pity and said she would pay for us. Apparently her daughter is on the same team, and her husband brought her daughter out to the game with no money either, so he called his wife to rush up there with some money so THEY could get in. They were furious as well. But they saved us.

So we get to the field, and the game had just started. Allison was benched But, throughout the other innings, she stood at first base, stood behind home plate wearing a catcher’s gear, and stood on the pitching mound. Notice I say “stood” rather than “played”. Although when she stood behind home plate wearing catcher’s gear, she did get hit by the ball four times (by my count). Twice on the leg, once on the chest, and once on her mask. She was at bat two times, and the second time the bases were loaded, and she actually brought in a run – THE only run her team had the entire game. Quite the hitter you may say? No, she brought in the run when the pitcher beaned her in the head with the softball, and she walked to first. Yeah for helmets! Although I should mention that this is coach-pitch softball.

And we made it back to the car, and did find a gas station in time – although my 17 gallon tank took well over 18 gallons (and $52) to fill, so we were REALLY cutting it close! I don’t know if we could have made it another mile down the road!

Allison started reading her first chapter book EVER on her own last night. She read one chapter and reported no troubles, and even told me all about it afterwards. She says she is going to read a chapter every night until she is done, and she is very excited. The book? Well Junie B Jones of course, sigh. Nothing but the classics round these parts….

And here’s proof. I caught the baby of the family sitting ON the dog, eating a BAG of chocolate cookies she stole from the pantry.

pictures! Current pictures…look in the sidebar for the link to my photo album and check them out.

In other news,

Allison started softball this past weekend, and thinks she is going to really enjoy it!

Jess got an apt and moved out. Its a cute apt, right by the pool. She should have a lot of fun with it this summer. She also got a second job, and having two pretty much full-time jobs is really stressing her out. AND she got her nose pierced. Not too thrilled with that one, but what can ya do?

Speech evaluation for Meredith later this week.. I can say with utmost confidence that she will fail and they will request a full-blown assessment for services… I could have save the screeners some time and trouble with this one, but they want us to jump through those hoops….

Back to work……..

I am so saddened by discussions on some of my homeschool email lists. One woman wrote in about being frustrated with her two children’s (ages 5 & 3) behavior, whatever should she do? The replies came pouring in. Tons of advice…most of which boiled down to using a switch, spanking, swatting, etc. She wrote back to the list, saying, “thanks everyone for your great advice, so when I smack them, and they don’t do what I tell them to, do I just keep smacking them until they do? By this point, they are sobbing and so upset, I doubt they could do anything, do I just keep smacking them?” And then further down she writes about her 3 year old having issues with hitting her, especially during a punishment (um, so she hits BACK??)

I bite my tongue in many circles because I know that there are differing opinions on the use of spanking as a disciplinary tool, but heck, this is MY site, so I will just say it. I think hitting under any circumstance is WRONG WRONG WRONG WRONG WRONG. I do not want my children to behave out of fear. I want them to learn to behave because they KNOW what is expected of them, they care about how other’s feel, and they KNOW that each action will have a consequence and by choosing the action they are choosing the consequence (I mean natural consequences here…you refuse to wear a coat, well I won’t smack you, but you’re gonna be mighty cold out there!). Spare the rod, spoil the child? My children are NOT spoiled. They are well-behaved little girls. They care about other people, they respect themselves, other people and things. They are growing up nicely. And I have never once hit them. My husband has never once hit them. And they will never ever be hit by an adult. Ever. I have never smacked their little hands, I have never tacken a switch to them, I have never once threatened to get a belt. My children have never been hit. My children listen to me, they respect me, when they act up, they know that that behavior won’t be tolerated, but they do not fear that they will get physically hurt by their parents. They do not fear us. You command respect, you can’t demand it…force it. My kids know respect. True respect. And in turn, they will know how to respect themselves and command respect from others. They will be less likely to enter into abusive manipulative relationships. They will be strong, and they will have an inner sense of discipline that comes from teaching, not from force. Force and violence CANNOT lead to that inner sense of right and wrong. It only leads to fear of punishment…no teaching is being imparted.

Discipline – to disciple – to teach.
Punishment – to punish, impose something negative in response to an unwanted behavior – according to wikipedia, possible reasons to punish include: deterrence; rehabilitation; incapacitation; restoration, and; retribution (justice) – nowhere do I see “to teach” listed

So what is our goals with the kids? Teach them to be adults? or control their behavior today? I’m raising women, not little girls.